Sigh

I've never quite understood the hysteria which surrounds the idea of same gender marriage in America...

If it were purely a religious matter...I honestly don't know of anyone who would disagree with the proposition that a religious community has the right to define marriage or solemnize a covenanted relationship between two informed and consenting adult members within their own community according to their rules...if so, let me know, I'd like to hear your thoughts!

For myself, the problem arises when the government uses marriage as a qualifier for special taxpayer supported privileges and benefits to participants in one sort of partnership (marriage - over 1000 privileges and benefits at last count) and not others solely because of the gender of those involved...again presuming both parties are informed and consenting adults. 

Now, one reasonable approach would be to get government out of the marriage business: no more special benefits or privileges for partnerships of any sorts - everyone treated equal under the law irrespective of marital or partnership status.  Think of the reduced documentation, need for lawyers, unclogging of courts...I'd think many folks who support smaller government and libertarian principles would be all for this....leave it to one's faith or relational community.

Or, if we hold that marriage is important for raising responsible members of society - a bit of a weak argument given the realities of more than a few Americans' lives today - and thereby justifies government involvement (and support), then restrict "legal" marriage only to those couples who are having, or have had, or adopted, or care for others' children so the society can help provide for our future citizenry.  No kids, no "legal" marriage.  Gender preference being of no relevance in determining who could or could not marry in such a situation....

Or, make common law partnerships de facto marriage under the civil law of each state and apply the existing state and federal laws, privileges and benefits accordingly irrespective of partner genders....call them domestic partnerships not marriages but apply the rules universally - no more  licenses for some and not all couples demonstrating at least 6 months of continuous cohabitation of two informed, consenting, adults...the clerk registers the domestic partnership (same gender OR hetero) and that's it....

Or, simply allow any two informed and consenting adults to marry civilly and/or religio-civilly and receive all of the privileges and benefits currently accorded to hetero marriages - which seems to be the option which freaks many folks out. 

I appreciate that there are folks who have legitimate problems with my point of view, and I do not expect or want anyone to think I believe I have the answer...but I do believe that one way blessed by a religious and culturally informed tradition may not be the only or best way to address this matter within a secular society.  Again, one's freely chosen faith community should have a voice, possibly a vote, or even (if you choose) a veto on your covenanted relationships, but not the government....thoughts?